TOPIC: Suicide Prevention

Suicide Prevention Hotline

I was desperate so I called.
You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline.
Press 1 for English
Presione 2 para espanol
(I pressed 1)
This call is being recorded for training purposes.
If you know your party's extension, you may press it now.
If you would like to talk to a suicide prevention counselor, press 3.
(I pressed 3)
All counselors are currently unavailable.
If you would you like to leave a callback number, press 4.
(I pressed 4 and entered my number.)
The callback number you have entered is invalid.
Please check with your service provider.
For all other inquiries, press 5.
(I pressed 5)
All our operators are busy helping other potential suicides.
The estimated waiting time is 23 minutes.
If you have questions regarding final expenses, press 6
(I pressed 6)
For burial, caskets and plots, press 7
For cremation and urns, press 8
If you would like to donate your body to science, press 9.
If you would like to leave a message for the coroner, press #.
If you would like to leave a callback number, press 4.
(I pressed 4 and re-entered my number.)
The callback number you have entered is still invalid.
Please check with your service provider.
If you would like to have this message repeated, press 1.
Thank you for using the Suicide Prevention Hotline.
Have a nice day!
I figured "to hell with it" and had a cold beer.
I guess the Suicide Prevention Hotline worked after all.