Ok, I my name is houston, and I am an idiot to....
One sunny day back in a not so distant memory I was transferring -old- fuel out of our -new to us- 19 foot Cobia.
Being the true Einstein that I am, i just so happen to have a in tank fuel pump that didn't need to replaced that was in my van and it was still working, and I swear it knew what I wanted to do because it starting jumping up and down and waving screaming "Pick me!..I'll do it fur yea".
with two 50 gal drums and a hose and the fuel pump and a battery, I set up what I figured was a brilliant idea, took the excess cover off the tank, set the fuel pump down into it and connected it to the fuel pump line coming out of the tank to a line i had running out the bilge drain hole.
Right about here my little yellow flashing cation light start revolving in the corner of one eye and in the corner of the other a little Darwin warning message started flashing...
so I sat there and look over what I set up, and this little voice said something about connecting the fuel tank to the negative side of the battery, which then the memory's of my fuel tanks on my rig, and an old airplane kind of all just kind of flashed past which oddly enough each one of those tank and a ground strap on them...
so mentally thought it over for a minute and I turned off all the warning lights and buzzers, and I dismissed -years- of memory's to the number one cause of all Darwin award winners, which is the presumption that everything everyone else does is because of a government regulated overkill regulation.
so I connected the battery and the old van internal pump started pumping out the old fuel, and it was doing a great job right up to the moment it -kind of- moved and touched the inside of the tank, which caused this itty bitty spark to go -pop- right off the top of the fuel pump.
Now in my -memory- of this, I see a 20 foot flame like you would see in some Rambo movie, but it was more around 4 or 5 inches off the top of the tank, and it wasn't shooting out, rather just flickering a bit. I swear If I had a stick and a hotdog I could of cooked lunch on it as long as I didn't move.
seeing everything was out of the boat because of the rehab, I knew I had two option, one get out of the boat and get the water hose that was next to the boat or two again get out of the boat and get the fire extinguisher that I just took out of it. the problem was I was standing on the 80 gallon fuel tank, and when I moved the flame would go from nice campfire hotdog level to about ten inches or so with a bit of a growl. so getting out of the boat wasn't really an option.
so quickly I saw a wet towel and the best MC-Gobber plain I could think of off the top of my head was to take that wet towel and flop it over the fuel tank excess port where the flames where dancing and -JUMP OUT- of the boat all in one...Wilt Chamberlain styled motion.
as I said we where just getting done with gutting out the sole of the cobia for a total stringer replacement, so what happen next is the icing on my Darwin Award nomination. In the best Wilt Chamberlain move I could manage, I pulled the wire off the battery and I tossed the wet towel over the excess port in a two feet in the air an a one arm stand 180 over the gunnel not caring that it was a seven foot drop. My "duh" moment happen almost instantly for I landed in our rolling garbage tote which was full of fresh ground foam and a flat shovel.
the handle got me just under the chin, I had a cut just over my eye and I was waist deep in the garbage tote full of foam, and after the stars and the sweet bird music slowly went away I notice my right foot was feeling rather warm. but there was no fire.
Had a gash that left a scar over my eye, cut my leg rather nicely, and honey would not help me get the little board off my crock that was holding it self there by a nail that was coming out of the top of my foot.
So there, I had to tell you all that to explain to you your not that bad of an idiot, you just didn't really give it to much planing, where I know exactly where I went wrong...it happen one day when we bought a boat....